1
00:00:03,838 --> 00:00:06,271
¶ Jingle bell jingle bell rock ¶
2
00:00:06,273 --> 00:00:09,675
¶ Jingle bell swing
and jingle bells rings ¶¶
3
00:00:10,378 --> 00:00:11,777
Morning.
4
00:00:11,779 --> 00:00:13,278
[groans]
5
00:00:13,280 --> 00:00:16,615
Willie...your Uncle Doug
is dead.
6
00:00:17,785 --> 00:00:19,952
Uncle Doug's been dead
for two years.
7
00:00:19,954 --> 00:00:23,989
I know. So, stop sending him
Christmas cards.
8
00:00:23,991 --> 00:00:25,958
Oh, Willie,
I-I want you to see this.
9
00:00:25,960 --> 00:00:29,128
Look, here. The very first
Christmas card we ever got.
10
00:00:29,130 --> 00:00:30,462
[groans]
11
00:00:30,464 --> 00:00:32,664
"From our good friends..
12
00:00:32,666 --> 00:00:35,167
...at the gas company."
13
00:00:35,169 --> 00:00:37,369
Oh, that was a good first
Christmas, wasn't it?
14
00:00:37,371 --> 00:00:39,905
We relaxed,
we-we stayed in bed late.
15
00:00:39,907 --> 00:00:41,740
Hmm, it was too cold to get up.
16
00:00:41,742 --> 00:00:44,143
Our friends at the gas company..
17
00:00:44,145 --> 00:00:46,145
...turned off the heat.
18
00:00:46,147 --> 00:00:47,813
But, uh, as I recall
19
00:00:47,815 --> 00:00:50,315
we, uh, we weren't in any
big hurry to get up anyway.
20
00:00:50,317 --> 00:00:52,484
- Hmm.
- 'Merry Christmas!'
21
00:00:52,486 --> 00:00:54,253
[rattling]
22
00:00:55,923 --> 00:00:58,424
He knows when we're awake.
23
00:00:58,426 --> 00:01:00,659
It's the day before Christmas.
24
00:01:00,661 --> 00:01:03,495
I've hidden all the eggs.
25
00:01:03,497 --> 00:01:07,066
ALF, we hide eggs at Easter,
not at Christmas.
26
00:01:07,068 --> 00:01:08,200
Oh, that's right.
27
00:01:08,202 --> 00:01:11,737
Christmas is when
we carve the pumpkin.
28
00:01:11,739 --> 00:01:13,672
Oh, you two get these
holidays straightened out
29
00:01:13,674 --> 00:01:15,674
I think I'll just go
make breakfast.
30
00:01:15,676 --> 00:01:19,011
Not necessary.
I already made breakfast.
31
00:01:19,013 --> 00:01:21,180
Sloppy Joes and fiberglass.
32
00:01:23,017 --> 00:01:25,117
I'll just go find the eggs.
33
00:01:26,187 --> 00:01:29,121
Why did you, uh,
make us breakfast?
34
00:01:29,123 --> 00:01:30,622
Because of the list.
35
00:01:30,624 --> 00:01:32,691
- What list?
- Santa's.
36
00:01:32,693 --> 00:01:35,394
You know, the fat guy
that dresses in velvet?
37
00:01:35,396 --> 00:01:38,197
I found out that he watches
everything you do..
38
00:01:38,199 --> 00:01:39,364
...writes it down
39
00:01:39,366 --> 00:01:42,201
and if your naughties
outnumber your nices..
40
00:01:42,203 --> 00:01:44,269
...you don't get toys.
41
00:01:44,271 --> 00:01:47,539
- So, you made us breakfast.
- It can't hurt.
42
00:01:47,541 --> 00:01:49,641
Oh, oh, and I've got
another surprise for ya!
43
00:01:49,643 --> 00:01:51,076
- 'Yeah?'
- 'Willie.'
44
00:01:51,078 --> 00:01:53,445
(Kate)
'Our Christmas tree!'
45
00:01:53,447 --> 00:01:56,215
ALF, what have you done?
46
00:01:56,217 --> 00:01:58,350
I don't wanna spoil
the surprise.
47
00:02:02,223 --> 00:02:05,791
ALF, you cut our tree
into firewood.
48
00:02:07,394 --> 00:02:08,961
You're welcome.
49
00:02:10,598 --> 00:02:12,297
[rattling]
50
00:02:13,067 --> 00:02:15,067
[theme music]
51
00:02:26,747 --> 00:02:28,747
[no audio]
52
00:02:32,686 --> 00:02:34,653
[no audio]
53
00:02:39,660 --> 00:02:42,027
[no audio]
54
00:02:47,434 --> 00:02:48,834
[no audio]
55
00:03:08,022 --> 00:03:09,354
[no audio]
56
00:03:21,168 --> 00:03:25,137
Alright, let me see if I've got
this reindeer thing straight.
57
00:03:25,139 --> 00:03:31,910
There's, uh, there's Dasher,
Dancer, Comet, Cupid.
58
00:03:31,912 --> 00:03:35,347
Matthew, Mark, Luke and John.
59
00:03:35,349 --> 00:03:38,984
No, it's Prancer, Dancer..
60
00:03:38,986 --> 00:03:41,720
...Vixen, Blitzen..
61
00:03:41,722 --> 00:03:43,388
Huey, Dewey and Louie.
62
00:03:44,191 --> 00:03:46,692
No, those are ducks.
63
00:03:46,694 --> 00:03:49,995
Then how do they
pull the sled?
64
00:03:49,997 --> 00:03:53,532
Okay, the lights are ready.
Now, all we need is a tree.
65
00:03:53,534 --> 00:03:56,001
Well, your dad should be here
with a new one soon.
66
00:03:56,003 --> 00:03:58,670
- What's taking him so long?
- Oh, you know your father.
67
00:03:58,672 --> 00:04:00,372
He has to find
just the perfect tree.
68
00:04:00,374 --> 00:04:03,542
Well, I hope he makes
it back before it snows.
69
00:04:03,544 --> 00:04:05,877
It's gonna snow? Neat!
70
00:04:05,879 --> 00:04:08,213
- No, it's not!
- Sure, it is.
71
00:04:08,215 --> 00:04:12,117
It always snows at Christmas.
I saw it on TV.
72
00:04:12,119 --> 00:04:16,722
All the stuff floats down
and covers the whole town
73
00:04:16,724 --> 00:04:20,192
and people go sledding
and make snowmen.
74
00:04:20,194 --> 00:04:24,096
Then Santa slides in
on a rotary shaver.
75
00:04:24,098 --> 00:04:27,966
ALF, it doesn't snow
in this part of the state.
76
00:04:27,968 --> 00:04:32,771
Wait a minute. I saw snow on
"Mr. T's Christmas Special."
77
00:04:32,773 --> 00:04:35,307
And they tape in Burbank.
78
00:04:35,309 --> 00:04:39,378
- ALF, that was fake snow.
- Well, that's it for Christmas.
79
00:04:39,380 --> 00:04:43,382
ALF, uh, it is possible
to have Christmas without snow.
80
00:04:43,384 --> 00:04:46,985
I don't wanna talk about it.
Let's move on to New Year's.
81
00:04:46,987 --> 00:04:48,887
Mom, I found another egg.
82
00:04:48,889 --> 00:04:51,456
Oh, ALF, you said
you got them all.
83
00:04:51,458 --> 00:04:53,158
All but that one. I swear.
84
00:04:54,161 --> 00:04:55,761
Here's one more.
85
00:04:55,763 --> 00:04:58,563
And the one in the philodendron.
86
00:04:58,565 --> 00:05:00,499
Oh, hi. I'm sorry, I'm late.
87
00:05:00,501 --> 00:05:03,635
- Hi, dad. What's in the box?
- 'Hi, honey.'
88
00:05:03,637 --> 00:05:05,737
Where's the tree?
Where's the tree?
89
00:05:05,739 --> 00:05:08,073
The tree. The-the box.
90
00:05:08,075 --> 00:05:11,576
Uh...let-let me just explain.
91
00:05:11,578 --> 00:05:13,045
Why-why are you holding eggs?
92
00:05:14,181 --> 00:05:16,782
- Didn't you get a tree?
- Oh, no.
93
00:05:16,784 --> 00:05:20,252
I mean, yes.
I-I-I mean...yes.
94
00:05:20,254 --> 00:05:22,587
Let's start with
a simple question.
95
00:05:22,589 --> 00:05:24,423
What's your name?
96
00:05:24,425 --> 00:05:27,993
Please, please, let me try
to explain this in my way.
97
00:05:27,995 --> 00:05:30,629
You see, I went
to every lot in town.
98
00:05:30,631 --> 00:05:33,432
I found lots. Empty lots.
99
00:05:33,434 --> 00:05:37,069
Except one where
this man named Fahid..
100
00:05:38,172 --> 00:05:40,272
...had just this one tree left.
101
00:05:40,274 --> 00:05:41,473
So, where is it?
102
00:05:41,475 --> 00:05:45,010
He was auctioning it off
to the highest bidder.
103
00:05:45,012 --> 00:05:47,479
I-I dropped out
when the price got to a $100.
104
00:05:47,481 --> 00:05:50,182
- I-I have my pride.
- And we have no tree.
105
00:05:50,184 --> 00:05:54,453
We have a tree.
We have a Christmas tree.
106
00:05:54,455 --> 00:05:56,288
And it's right here.
107
00:05:56,290 --> 00:05:57,789
Behind the box?
108
00:05:57,791 --> 00:05:59,224
It's in the box.
109
00:05:59,727 --> 00:06:01,226
A fake tree.
110
00:06:02,162 --> 00:06:05,230
It's a lifelike simulated tree.
Yes.
111
00:06:05,232 --> 00:06:07,966
What do you do?
Just add water?
112
00:06:07,968 --> 00:06:11,336
No, we put it together,
together.
113
00:06:11,338 --> 00:06:14,239
Yeah, it-it'll be
a fun family project.
114
00:06:14,241 --> 00:06:17,509
And it comes with
a can of simulated snow.
115
00:06:17,511 --> 00:06:18,977
If you had gotten two cans
116
00:06:18,979 --> 00:06:21,546
we could have made
a simulated snowman.
117
00:06:23,250 --> 00:06:26,818
"One hundred and twenty five."
What does that mean?
118
00:06:26,820 --> 00:06:30,355
"$125." That's the price.
119
00:06:30,357 --> 00:06:31,890
Is my math way off
120
00:06:31,892 --> 00:06:34,926
or is that more than
you would've paid Fahid?
121
00:06:35,829 --> 00:06:38,697
It's more, but it's less.
122
00:06:38,699 --> 00:06:40,298
I'm talking to Carnac.
123
00:06:41,335 --> 00:06:44,669
It's more now,
but it will be less
124
00:06:44,671 --> 00:06:49,241
because you see this tree
is guaranteed for 25 years.
125
00:06:49,243 --> 00:06:51,343
Now, if you amortize that
for the whole period
126
00:06:51,345 --> 00:06:53,445
that's just, that's just
five dollars a year.
127
00:06:54,915 --> 00:06:56,882
So, uh, we're gonna be stuck
with this thing
128
00:06:56,884 --> 00:06:59,017
for over a quarter of a century.
129
00:06:59,019 --> 00:07:01,353
When you see it assembled
it will be fine.
130
00:07:01,355 --> 00:07:03,188
- You'll see.
- I agree.
131
00:07:03,190 --> 00:07:05,791
- I think a fake tree is fine.
- Mm-hmm. And I'm with Lynn.
132
00:07:05,793 --> 00:07:07,192
It doesn't matter
what kind of tree it is.
133
00:07:07,194 --> 00:07:09,461
The tree is just a symbol.
Right, Brian?
134
00:07:09,463 --> 00:07:12,097
- What's a symbol?
- He agrees.
135
00:07:12,099 --> 00:07:14,199
Well, this whole thing
stinks if you ask me.
136
00:07:14,201 --> 00:07:15,467
Nobody is asking you.
137
00:07:15,469 --> 00:07:18,036
Well, I'm not waiting
for an invitation.
138
00:07:18,038 --> 00:07:20,038
First, you dropped
the fake snow on me
139
00:07:20,040 --> 00:07:22,140
then you come waltzing in here
140
00:07:22,142 --> 00:07:24,042
with this miserable
excuse for a tree.
141
00:07:24,044 --> 00:07:28,113
May I remind you, it was you
who chopped up our real tree?
142
00:07:28,115 --> 00:07:29,881
I knew you'd bring that up.
143
00:07:29,883 --> 00:07:32,217
[people caroling]
144
00:07:32,219 --> 00:07:34,886
There's people out,
they're singing.
145
00:07:34,888 --> 00:07:36,221
[people caroling]
146
00:07:36,223 --> 00:07:37,389
Hey, you want me
to get rid of 'em?
147
00:07:37,391 --> 00:07:40,659
No, no. ALF, they're caroling.
148
00:07:40,661 --> 00:07:42,461
Then why are they singing?
149
00:07:43,831 --> 00:07:45,964
- Kevin's out there!
- Yeah.
150
00:07:45,966 --> 00:07:48,233
- And Melisa.
- Hi!
151
00:07:48,235 --> 00:07:50,769
- Can I go with them?
- Well, I don't see why not?
152
00:07:50,771 --> 00:07:52,971
- Let's all go.
- Yeah.
153
00:07:52,973 --> 00:07:55,073
- Honey, let's go.
- Oh, yeah, sure. Let me just..
154
00:07:55,075 --> 00:07:58,009
Uh, no, you know what,
I-I wanna stay here
155
00:07:58,011 --> 00:07:59,778
a-a-and-and assemble the tree.
156
00:07:59,780 --> 00:08:02,347
I'll catch up with you at
the manger by the gas station.
157
00:08:02,349 --> 00:08:04,082
Well, honey, I don't want
you to miss the caroling.
158
00:08:04,084 --> 00:08:07,319
I'm not gonna miss the caroling.
No, no!
159
00:08:07,321 --> 00:08:09,421
This tree isn't gonna take
long to put together
160
00:08:09,423 --> 00:08:11,189
and-and then we'll all decorate
when you get back.
161
00:08:11,191 --> 00:08:12,757
Okay, we'll-we'll see you there.
162
00:08:12,759 --> 00:08:14,192
- Okay.
- Bye.
163
00:08:15,162 --> 00:08:16,828
You really gonna
let Brian go caroling?
164
00:08:16,830 --> 00:08:18,430
Well, sure, why not?
165
00:08:18,432 --> 00:08:22,434
Well, on Melmac, caroling was
definitely not for children.
166
00:08:22,436 --> 00:08:23,668
How come?
167
00:08:23,670 --> 00:08:26,371
Well, you'd have
to know Carol.
168
00:08:28,041 --> 00:08:31,109
[instrumental "Deck The Halls"]
169
00:08:36,283 --> 00:08:40,452
Excuse me, would you mind
some constructive criticism?
170
00:08:40,454 --> 00:08:41,486
Yes, I would.
171
00:08:41,488 --> 00:08:44,155
Why don't you read
the instructions?
172
00:08:44,157 --> 00:08:45,857
They're in Japanese.
173
00:08:45,859 --> 00:08:47,592
Then I'll read them.
174
00:08:50,063 --> 00:08:53,098
[reading in Japanese]
175
00:08:54,234 --> 00:08:55,667
Well, what does it say
in English?
176
00:08:55,669 --> 00:09:00,372
"So...you weren't able
to buy a real tree.."
177
00:09:00,374 --> 00:09:03,141
Just skip
to the instruction part.
178
00:09:03,143 --> 00:09:06,912
"Step one,
paint the trunk green."
179
00:09:06,914 --> 00:09:08,580
Paint not included.
180
00:09:08,582 --> 00:09:12,017
Let's see. I'll be able
to handle this myself.
181
00:09:12,019 --> 00:09:14,886
Alright.
You're on your own.
182
00:09:14,888 --> 00:09:17,222
Pretend I'm not here.
183
00:09:17,224 --> 00:09:19,791
Just like
I'm doing with that tree.
184
00:09:21,995 --> 00:09:23,428
Well, look at that.
185
00:09:23,430 --> 00:09:25,664
"Four inches of snow
in Clayton, Georgia."
186
00:09:25,666 --> 00:09:29,000
Oh! Darn!
Now, I'll have to tape it.
187
00:09:29,002 --> 00:09:30,235
"Twelve inches in Buffalo."
188
00:09:30,237 --> 00:09:31,836
I should have bought
a real tree.
189
00:09:31,838 --> 00:09:34,406
It's only once a year.
I could have paid the money.
190
00:09:34,408 --> 00:09:35,607
Wow!
191
00:09:35,609 --> 00:09:38,343
"Six inches of snow
in the Angeles Forest."
192
00:09:38,345 --> 00:09:40,178
Now there's no more real trees.
193
00:09:40,180 --> 00:09:41,846
The lots are closed.
194
00:09:41,848 --> 00:09:44,115
The Angeles Forest..
195
00:09:44,117 --> 00:09:46,418
Yeah. They have snow.
196
00:09:46,420 --> 00:09:48,787
Everyone has snow,
but the Tanners.
197
00:09:48,789 --> 00:09:51,856
No, ALF, we used to go there,
Kate and I.
198
00:09:51,858 --> 00:09:53,959
We used to go there
every year to a tree farm.
199
00:09:53,961 --> 00:09:55,260
We cut down our own tree.
200
00:09:55,262 --> 00:09:57,095
ALF, that's the answer.
201
00:09:57,097 --> 00:09:58,229
It's only an hour away.
202
00:09:58,231 --> 00:09:59,731
I know the exact spot.
203
00:09:59,733 --> 00:10:02,133
I can cut down a tree,
surprise the family.
204
00:10:02,135 --> 00:10:04,202
Yeah, and they've got snow!
205
00:10:04,204 --> 00:10:05,437
Let's go!
206
00:10:05,439 --> 00:10:06,871
What do you mean, "Let's?"
207
00:10:06,873 --> 00:10:09,040
Hey, you're not gonna
deny me the one chance
208
00:10:09,042 --> 00:10:11,209
I'll ever have to see snow,
are you?
209
00:10:11,211 --> 00:10:13,478
Well, I-I-I guess,
it's Christmas Eve.
210
00:10:13,480 --> 00:10:14,779
There's no one on the road.
211
00:10:14,781 --> 00:10:16,481
- Why not?
- Great!
212
00:10:16,483 --> 00:10:19,050
- I'll warm up the car.
- I'll just leave a note.
213
00:10:19,052 --> 00:10:20,385
Oh, wait, wait, wait!
214
00:10:20,387 --> 00:10:21,820
You're-you're not
warming up the car.
215
00:10:21,822 --> 00:10:23,254
No, no!
216
00:10:23,256 --> 00:10:25,657
Uh, you get the chains off,
fill it with gas.
217
00:10:25,659 --> 00:10:27,459
No problem.
218
00:10:28,228 --> 00:10:29,628
What am I saying?
219
00:10:30,998 --> 00:10:33,665
[instrumental
"Twelve Days Of Christmas"]
220
00:10:36,436 --> 00:10:40,338
This spot, uh, where you used
to cut your tree..
221
00:10:40,340 --> 00:10:42,407
...have you been
there in person..
222
00:10:42,409 --> 00:10:45,110
...or just in your mind?
223
00:10:45,112 --> 00:10:47,946
We would have found
the spot long ago..
224
00:10:47,948 --> 00:10:50,915
...if I'd been
holding the map.
225
00:10:50,917 --> 00:10:54,085
This place is barely on the map.
226
00:10:54,087 --> 00:10:57,155
I think we just passed
the Donner party.
227
00:10:57,157 --> 00:11:00,959
We'll find the spot.
We'll find it soon.
228
00:11:00,961 --> 00:11:02,594
It's been two hours.
229
00:11:02,596 --> 00:11:06,431
By now the family will
be worried sick about me.
230
00:11:06,433 --> 00:11:09,367
- Well, do you wanna go home?
- Yes.
231
00:11:09,369 --> 00:11:12,637
I mean, I haven't even seen
that snow you promised.
232
00:11:12,639 --> 00:11:14,639
Just mud.
233
00:11:14,641 --> 00:11:16,941
I never promised snow. You did.
234
00:11:16,943 --> 00:11:20,779
Oh, yeah.
You promised trees.
235
00:11:20,781 --> 00:11:22,714
Alright. You win!
236
00:11:22,716 --> 00:11:24,349
We'll turn around
to the next road
237
00:11:24,351 --> 00:11:26,685
we'll go home,
I'll work on the plastic tree
238
00:11:26,687 --> 00:11:28,153
until it's finished.
239
00:11:28,155 --> 00:11:30,989
Great! We'll have
Christmas in March.
240
00:11:30,991 --> 00:11:33,458
Will you just tell me
where the next road is, okay?
241
00:11:33,460 --> 00:11:34,793
Fine.
242
00:11:37,631 --> 00:11:40,298
Alright, there's, uh, there's
a road coming up right now.
243
00:11:40,300 --> 00:11:42,133
- Where?
- Uh, up ahead.
244
00:11:42,135 --> 00:11:43,568
- Where?
- Uh, there it is now.
245
00:11:43,570 --> 00:11:45,570
- Turn here. Quick!
- Uh, you sure there's a road--
246
00:11:45,572 --> 00:11:47,338
Yes, yes, right here.
I'm sure. I'm positive!
247
00:11:47,340 --> 00:11:49,274
- Alright!
- Yeah.
248
00:11:55,816 --> 00:11:57,382
No, wait.
249
00:12:01,888 --> 00:12:04,289
Fine. Now, we're stuck.
250
00:12:06,760 --> 00:12:10,862
If I'm not home before Santa
gets there, I'll sue you.
251
00:12:10,864 --> 00:12:12,630
[instrumental music]
252
00:12:18,672 --> 00:12:19,938
Willie!
253
00:12:19,940 --> 00:12:22,173
ALF!
254
00:12:22,175 --> 00:12:23,441
Anybody?
255
00:12:23,443 --> 00:12:26,244
- Where are they?
- I don't know.
256
00:12:28,181 --> 00:12:31,750
See. I told you
this is how it's gonna look.
257
00:12:31,752 --> 00:12:34,853
I'm sure dad isn't
finished with it yet.
258
00:12:34,855 --> 00:12:36,321
I wonder where they are.
259
00:12:37,023 --> 00:12:38,356
Here we go.
260
00:12:38,358 --> 00:12:41,392
Oh, they went to
cut down a real tree.
261
00:12:41,394 --> 00:12:43,228
Mom, they've been
gone a long time.
262
00:12:43,230 --> 00:12:45,463
They went to
"McCarnal's Tree Farm."
263
00:12:45,465 --> 00:12:46,865
You know, we used to cut
our Christmas tree
264
00:12:46,867 --> 00:12:48,800
down there every year.
265
00:12:48,802 --> 00:12:51,736
First, we got lost there
every year too.
266
00:12:51,738 --> 00:12:53,471
¶ Deck the halls
with boughs of holly ¶
267
00:12:53,473 --> 00:12:54,806
¶ Fa la la la la ¶
268
00:12:54,808 --> 00:12:56,207
¶ La la la la ¶¶
269
00:12:56,209 --> 00:12:59,210
Knock, knock. Guess who?
270
00:12:59,212 --> 00:13:01,279
(in unison)
Mr. Ochmonek!
271
00:13:01,281 --> 00:13:02,781
How is everybody?
272
00:13:02,783 --> 00:13:06,317
Oh, well, actually, we're, uh..
We're-we're fine, Trevor.
273
00:13:06,319 --> 00:13:07,719
Come on in.
274
00:13:08,455 --> 00:13:10,088
- Thanks, Kate.
- Oh.
275
00:13:10,090 --> 00:13:11,689
Merry Christmas!
276
00:13:12,292 --> 00:13:13,625
[kissing]
277
00:13:13,627 --> 00:13:16,294
[chuckling]
Merry Christmas, Trevor.
278
00:13:16,296 --> 00:13:18,763
Gosh! I love this holiday.
279
00:13:18,765 --> 00:13:19,998
Good will..
280
00:13:20,000 --> 00:13:22,133
...visiting with
the neighbors..
281
00:13:22,135 --> 00:13:24,335
...sharing a little eggnog.
282
00:13:25,505 --> 00:13:28,740
Sharing a little eggnog.
283
00:13:28,742 --> 00:13:30,408
Would you like some eggnog,
Mr. Ochmonek?
284
00:13:30,410 --> 00:13:31,776
If it's not too much trouble.
285
00:13:31,778 --> 00:13:34,312
- I'll get you some.
- Heavy on the brandy.
286
00:13:34,314 --> 00:13:35,814
[scoffs]
I know.
287
00:13:36,650 --> 00:13:37,515
Yeah.
288
00:13:37,517 --> 00:13:39,450
Place looks great.
289
00:13:39,452 --> 00:13:40,985
Oh, thank you.
290
00:13:40,987 --> 00:13:42,787
Beautiful decorations.
291
00:13:42,789 --> 00:13:46,357
Stockings hung
by the chimney with care.
292
00:13:46,359 --> 00:13:47,992
What the hell is this?
293
00:13:48,962 --> 00:13:50,662
It's our Christmas tree.
294
00:13:50,664 --> 00:13:52,697
I thought it was a coatrack.
295
00:13:52,699 --> 00:13:56,134
No. Dad hasn't finished
putting it together.
296
00:13:56,136 --> 00:13:57,735
Aah! hmm.
297
00:13:59,673 --> 00:14:00,939
Aah!
298
00:14:00,941 --> 00:14:04,142
- So where is the old man?
- He's in the woods.
299
00:14:04,144 --> 00:14:07,378
You mean like a religious
thing? A pilgrimage?
300
00:14:07,380 --> 00:14:10,448
Well, uh, he brought home this
artificial Christmas tree--
301
00:14:10,450 --> 00:14:11,950
So you kicked him out.
302
00:14:11,952 --> 00:14:14,786
No, uh, he went to
cut down a real one.
303
00:14:14,788 --> 00:14:18,056
In that case,
I'll have another eggnog.
304
00:14:18,058 --> 00:14:19,157
Hold the eggnog this time.
305
00:14:19,159 --> 00:14:21,359
[chuckles]
I know.
306
00:14:21,361 --> 00:14:22,627
[chuckling]
307
00:14:22,629 --> 00:14:24,429
[instrumental music]
308
00:14:25,832 --> 00:14:28,900
Okay, I've put the board in
the wheel and I'm gonna push.
309
00:14:28,902 --> 00:14:30,468
So when I say now
310
00:14:30,470 --> 00:14:32,971
you release the brake
and press accelerator, okay?
311
00:14:32,973 --> 00:14:34,172
Do what?
312
00:14:34,174 --> 00:14:37,308
Release the brake
and press the accelerator.
313
00:14:37,310 --> 00:14:38,643
Okay.
314
00:14:39,212 --> 00:14:40,245
[engine revving]
315
00:14:40,247 --> 00:14:43,047
Turn it off, turn it off!
316
00:14:57,097 --> 00:14:58,830
Well, thank you.
317
00:15:00,667 --> 00:15:04,502
Now...we are completely stuck.
318
00:15:05,338 --> 00:15:06,905
Alone till spring.
319
00:15:09,009 --> 00:15:10,375
This is just terrible.
320
00:15:10,377 --> 00:15:13,411
I'm stranded...on Christmas Eve.
321
00:15:13,413 --> 00:15:17,448
Yeah, this would never happen
to Sonny Crockett.
322
00:15:17,450 --> 00:15:19,350
- What?
- It wouldn't.
323
00:15:19,352 --> 00:15:22,086
He has a car phone.
He can call for help.
324
00:15:23,623 --> 00:15:26,524
I'd love to do that, ALF.
325
00:15:26,526 --> 00:15:28,693
I'd love to be Superman.
326
00:15:28,695 --> 00:15:31,429
Then I could fly out of here.
327
00:15:31,431 --> 00:15:33,765
Well, now you're being silly.
328
00:15:33,767 --> 00:15:35,466
[exhales]
329
00:15:38,104 --> 00:15:39,604
[clicks tongue]
330
00:15:39,606 --> 00:15:41,706
A whisker for your thoughts.
331
00:15:41,708 --> 00:15:43,875
[chuckles]
What?
332
00:15:43,877 --> 00:15:47,445
On Melmac, that's how
you get someone to open up.
333
00:15:50,150 --> 00:15:52,717
Oh, I was just thinking..
334
00:15:52,719 --> 00:15:55,553
...about it's being Christmas..
335
00:15:55,555 --> 00:15:57,789
...not having a tree.
336
00:15:57,791 --> 00:15:59,657
It sounds like
it's gonna be sentimental.
337
00:15:59,659 --> 00:16:01,659
- No.
- Mind if I turn on some music?
338
00:16:01,661 --> 00:16:04,395
Yeah, go ahead.
339
00:16:04,397 --> 00:16:06,397
I don't know,
even when I was a kid
340
00:16:06,399 --> 00:16:08,967
I think the most
important thing was..
341
00:16:08,969 --> 00:16:11,636
...that we had that tree.
A real tree.
342
00:16:11,638 --> 00:16:13,738
My dad used to bring it home
on Christmas Eve
343
00:16:13,740 --> 00:16:16,307
and we'd all decorate it,
the whole family.
344
00:16:16,309 --> 00:16:20,511
We'd all pitch in, me and
my brother, my Uncle Dough.
345
00:16:20,513 --> 00:16:22,413
Incidentally my condolences.
346
00:16:22,415 --> 00:16:24,048
Oh, thanks.
347
00:16:26,252 --> 00:16:30,088
You know, sometimes there wasn't
enough money to buy presents.
348
00:16:30,090 --> 00:16:34,025
But there always was that tree.
A real tree.
349
00:16:35,595 --> 00:16:37,996
We'd keep that tree up until..
350
00:16:37,998 --> 00:16:40,665
...every last needle was gone.
351
00:16:40,667 --> 00:16:42,767
I remember one 4th of July--
352
00:16:42,769 --> 00:16:45,169
Mind if I switch on
to the ball game?
353
00:16:46,873 --> 00:16:48,873
You just..
You don't get it, do you?
354
00:16:48,875 --> 00:16:50,775
Sure, I do.
355
00:16:50,777 --> 00:16:52,844
I'm just trying
to keep from crying.
356
00:16:53,980 --> 00:16:55,513
Yeah, huh?
357
00:16:56,616 --> 00:16:59,450
Then, let's just, uh, sit here..
358
00:16:59,452 --> 00:17:01,285
...and be quiet, okay?
359
00:17:01,287 --> 00:17:02,553
Okay.
360
00:17:03,323 --> 00:17:05,390
Being quiet.
361
00:17:05,392 --> 00:17:06,924
Waiting patiently.
362
00:17:08,228 --> 00:17:09,794
Saying nothing.
363
00:17:10,697 --> 00:17:13,831
How did your Uncle Dough die?
364
00:17:13,833 --> 00:17:16,801
He was talking too much
and somebody hit him.
365
00:17:19,472 --> 00:17:21,773
Fine, back to quiet.
366
00:17:22,876 --> 00:17:25,576
We'll just sit here
and listen to the mud.
367
00:17:30,817 --> 00:17:33,051
[instrumental music]
368
00:17:39,325 --> 00:17:42,093
- Oh!
- Oh!
369
00:17:42,095 --> 00:17:45,730
Oh, mother!
Everything looks so beautiful.
370
00:17:45,732 --> 00:17:48,399
Yeah, I can't wait for dad
to get here with the tree
371
00:17:48,401 --> 00:17:52,870
so we can decorate it together.
Like we do every year.
372
00:17:52,872 --> 00:17:55,273
Nothing is as much fun
without him as it is with him.
373
00:17:55,275 --> 00:17:56,607
[sighs]
Oh, yes.
374
00:17:56,609 --> 00:17:58,776
He is an excellent
husband and father.
375
00:17:58,778 --> 00:18:00,545
[Willie scatting]
376
00:18:00,547 --> 00:18:02,580
That must be him now.
377
00:18:02,582 --> 00:18:03,681
I'll get the door.
378
00:18:03,683 --> 00:18:06,017
No, let me.
379
00:18:06,019 --> 00:18:09,253
- Why don't we all go?
- Fine.
380
00:18:09,255 --> 00:18:10,988
[Willie scatting]
381
00:18:13,526 --> 00:18:14,692
[sighs]
382
00:18:14,694 --> 00:18:16,527
Merry Christmas, everyone.
383
00:18:16,529 --> 00:18:17,695
[all gasping]
384
00:18:17,697 --> 00:18:20,064
What a beautiful tree!
385
00:18:20,066 --> 00:18:22,767
Oh, dad, it's even more
beautiful than last year.
386
00:18:22,769 --> 00:18:24,936
Oh, you really outdid yourself.
387
00:18:24,938 --> 00:18:27,071
- Thank you.
- Where ever did you get it?
388
00:18:27,073 --> 00:18:29,874
Fahid gave it to me.
Absolutely free.
389
00:18:29,876 --> 00:18:34,112
He's such a nice man.
Now, we can decorate it.
390
00:18:34,114 --> 00:18:35,780
Isn't this great?
391
00:18:35,782 --> 00:18:38,716
Two perfect kids,
a beautiful wife.
392
00:18:38,718 --> 00:18:41,886
A big tree!
Could anyone want more?
393
00:18:41,888 --> 00:18:45,223
I agree. It really
is a wonderful life.
394
00:18:45,225 --> 00:18:46,324
How could it not be?
395
00:18:46,326 --> 00:18:48,059
I mean, it's not like
we've got an alien
396
00:18:48,061 --> 00:18:49,560
living with us or anything.
397
00:18:49,562 --> 00:18:51,929
Oh, why, dad, why would
you say a thing like that?
398
00:18:51,931 --> 00:18:55,066
Oh, uh-huh.
I don't know.
399
00:18:55,068 --> 00:18:58,236
Brian, why don't you get
the cranberries and popcorn?
400
00:18:58,238 --> 00:18:59,504
I'll get the tinsel.
401
00:18:59,506 --> 00:19:01,906
- Come on, Brian.
- Don't forget the star.
402
00:19:01,908 --> 00:19:04,075
[gasps]
Oh, excuse me, dear
403
00:19:04,077 --> 00:19:07,678
but doesn't the tree lean a
little bit too much to the left?
404
00:19:07,680 --> 00:19:10,248
Oh, I don't think so.
It looks fine to me.
405
00:19:10,250 --> 00:19:14,152
[scoffs]
Well, it's not fine to me.
Not fine at all.
406
00:19:14,154 --> 00:19:17,121
I'd better call
the tree repairman.
407
00:19:17,123 --> 00:19:19,423
Operator, get me
the tree repairman.
408
00:19:19,425 --> 00:19:20,925
The tree repairman?
409
00:19:20,927 --> 00:19:22,527
Oh, I don't think there's
any such thing as a--
410
00:19:22,529 --> 00:19:23,761
He's on his way.
411
00:19:23,763 --> 00:19:25,263
[doorbell dings]
412
00:19:25,265 --> 00:19:26,831
Maybe that's him now.
413
00:19:26,833 --> 00:19:29,433
But...but we don't need any..
414
00:19:29,435 --> 00:19:31,669
Tree repairman.
415
00:19:32,672 --> 00:19:34,472
Oh, see you got
a leaner there.
416
00:19:34,474 --> 00:19:37,141
Oh, my God! It's him!
417
00:19:37,143 --> 00:19:39,977
Kate, don't let him
touch the tree.
418
00:19:39,979 --> 00:19:43,414
Relax, pal,
I'll only be a minute.
419
00:19:44,951 --> 00:19:46,150
What are you doing here?
420
00:19:46,152 --> 00:19:48,119
This is my dream.
You can't be in this.
421
00:19:48,121 --> 00:19:49,954
[scoffs]
Oops! Here, hold this.
422
00:19:49,956 --> 00:19:51,822
Get away from my tree!
423
00:19:51,824 --> 00:19:53,624
Oh, here we go, lady!
424
00:19:53,626 --> 00:19:56,327
I found the problem
with your tree.
425
00:19:56,329 --> 00:19:57,628
It's a fake!
426
00:19:57,630 --> 00:20:01,332
You bought a fake tree?
427
00:20:01,334 --> 00:20:03,000
Willie, you should be ashamed.
428
00:20:03,002 --> 00:20:04,835
But, it's-it's not a fake.
429
00:20:04,837 --> 00:20:07,305
I mean, it wasn't
until he got here!
430
00:20:07,307 --> 00:20:11,809
Look at our perfect Christmas.
It's unravelling.
431
00:20:11,811 --> 00:20:14,011
[scoffs]
What's he whining about now?
432
00:20:14,013 --> 00:20:15,846
He bought a fake tree.
433
00:20:15,848 --> 00:20:18,816
That figures.
434
00:20:18,818 --> 00:20:20,685
Why are you dressed like that?
435
00:20:20,687 --> 00:20:22,520
My boyfriends are
coming by to get me
436
00:20:22,522 --> 00:20:26,290
so I don't have to help decorate
this synthetic stump.
437
00:20:28,528 --> 00:20:30,494
You're ruining my dream.
438
00:20:30,496 --> 00:20:32,063
I can't fix this here.
439
00:20:32,065 --> 00:20:34,298
I'm gonna have to
take it into the shop.
440
00:20:35,668 --> 00:20:37,568
Bye, mom,
I'm leaving for some
441
00:20:37,570 --> 00:20:39,537
unnamed
Central American country.
442
00:20:39,539 --> 00:20:41,205
Mm-hmm.
443
00:20:41,207 --> 00:20:44,342
But, Brian, I thought we
were gonna decorate the tree.
444
00:20:44,344 --> 00:20:48,012
Later, dad, I'm off to
stem the tide of communism.
445
00:20:52,518 --> 00:20:53,517
[doorbell dings]
446
00:20:53,519 --> 00:20:55,253
That'll be my lover.
447
00:21:00,727 --> 00:21:02,994
You're ready to go, babe?
448
00:21:04,430 --> 00:21:05,563
Don't wait up.
449
00:21:05,565 --> 00:21:07,098
He he he.
450
00:21:08,034 --> 00:21:09,700
This is your fault.
451
00:21:09,702 --> 00:21:12,203
You tree should be
ready around Easter.
452
00:21:12,205 --> 00:21:13,437
But call first.
453
00:21:13,439 --> 00:21:15,373
Here's your stuff.
454
00:21:15,375 --> 00:21:17,375
You are not taking my tree.
455
00:21:17,377 --> 00:21:18,709
I want my tree.
456
00:21:18,711 --> 00:21:20,544
I want my tree.
457
00:21:20,546 --> 00:21:21,646
- I want my tree.
- 'Ah!'
458
00:21:21,648 --> 00:21:22,913
I want my tree.
459
00:21:22,915 --> 00:21:26,217
I want my tree.
I want my tree.
460
00:21:26,219 --> 00:21:29,387
Lighten up, Willie.
You got it.
461
00:21:29,389 --> 00:21:32,790
- Oh, wha-what's going on here?
- Nothing.
462
00:21:32,792 --> 00:21:35,059
I just loaded
a tree into the car.
463
00:21:35,061 --> 00:21:36,727
W-where did you get it?
464
00:21:36,729 --> 00:21:39,830
Think, Willie,
where do we get trees?
465
00:21:39,832 --> 00:21:40,898
Do you mean
you went out to the woods
466
00:21:40,900 --> 00:21:42,733
to cut down this tree for me?
467
00:21:42,735 --> 00:21:44,435
Isn't that what
we came here for?
468
00:21:44,437 --> 00:21:47,638
ALF! Oh, I don't-I don't
know what to say?
469
00:21:47,640 --> 00:21:49,006
Well, you better say it quick.
470
00:21:49,008 --> 00:21:51,175
There's a forest ranger
headed this way.
471
00:21:51,177 --> 00:21:53,778
He must have heard the chainsaw.
472
00:21:53,780 --> 00:21:55,112
Well, at least..
473
00:21:55,114 --> 00:21:56,614
At least we're going
to get help.
474
00:21:56,616 --> 00:21:57,815
And we're going to get home.
475
00:21:57,817 --> 00:22:00,551
And...we're going to get fined.
476
00:22:03,589 --> 00:22:06,490
Willie! Willie, look!
477
00:22:06,492 --> 00:22:08,592
- It's snow.
- Snow!
478
00:22:08,594 --> 00:22:11,929
I finally get to see snow.
479
00:22:11,931 --> 00:22:15,399
(male
'You in there, I wanna talk
to you about that tree.'
480
00:22:21,007 --> 00:22:22,440
Merry Christmas, ALF.
481
00:22:22,442 --> 00:22:24,709
(ALF)
'Merry Christmas, Willie.'
482
00:22:24,711 --> 00:22:26,110
Yes.
483
00:22:27,046 --> 00:22:29,046
[instrumental music]
484
00:22:33,886 --> 00:22:35,119
[instrumental music]
485
00:22:36,656 --> 00:22:38,122
This is great, Brian.
486
00:22:38,124 --> 00:22:40,791
It's for giving eye exams,
right?
487
00:22:40,793 --> 00:22:44,095
No, you look into it
and you push the button.
488
00:22:45,631 --> 00:22:47,531
It's Sylvester and Tweety.
489
00:22:48,401 --> 00:22:51,068
Hah! Die, cat, die!
490
00:22:51,070 --> 00:22:53,537
- Yeah!
- What a great Christmas!
491
00:22:53,539 --> 00:22:57,241
Yeah, and we ended up
with a really beautiful tree.
492
00:22:57,243 --> 00:22:58,476
It should be.
493
00:22:58,478 --> 00:23:03,414
It cost me $367, what,
with the fine and the tolling.
494
00:23:03,416 --> 00:23:08,819
A small price to pay for keeping
a poor boy's dream alive.
495
00:23:08,821 --> 00:23:10,988
Who are these presents for?
496
00:23:10,990 --> 00:23:12,757
Oh, I almost forgot.
497
00:23:12,759 --> 00:23:15,893
A few tokens from the old ALFer.
498
00:23:15,895 --> 00:23:19,897
Oh, you got us presents?
ALF, you can't shop.
499
00:23:19,899 --> 00:23:23,667
This is America, Kate.
Everybody can shop.
500
00:23:23,669 --> 00:23:27,104
- I used a catalogue.
- A catalogue? From where?
501
00:23:27,106 --> 00:23:29,006
The Hardware Hamlet.
502
00:23:29,008 --> 00:23:31,142
- My account?
- Who else's?
503
00:23:32,378 --> 00:23:35,413
Thanks, ALF.
Look, a staple gun.
504
00:23:35,415 --> 00:23:37,782
Neat! A leaf blower.
505
00:23:37,784 --> 00:23:40,017
I hope that's the kind you like.
506
00:23:40,019 --> 00:23:43,854
Goodness!
Uh, a rotary sander for me.
507
00:23:43,856 --> 00:23:45,356
Weather stripping.
508
00:23:45,358 --> 00:23:46,557
My, my!
509
00:23:46,559 --> 00:23:48,426
It is the thought that counts.
510
00:23:48,428 --> 00:23:51,362
And the important thing is
we're all together.
511
00:23:51,364 --> 00:23:55,633
In the words of the immortal
St. Frosty The Snowman
512
00:23:55,635 --> 00:23:58,836
"God bless us all. Everyone."
513
00:24:00,440 --> 00:24:02,640
[whirring]
514
00:24:02,642 --> 00:24:04,809
[instrumental music]
515
00:24:07,146 --> 00:24:09,013
[theme music]
516
00:24:34,440 --> 00:24:36,407
Merry Christmas!